Tuesday, December 21, 2010

year ending musings

an interesting solstice/eclipse/full moon. a meditation was set up, to start off a years' worth of dedicated workings for next year---my 50th on this plane.  a bit of mercury retrograde got the setup off to a jumpy start.  candles tipping, animals interrupting, youngest grandchild fussing with a cold, knees sore, extremely difficult to sit still (hello, ADD).  but candles were sit & lit, a friendly aura beamed out from the presence invited & addressed.  the color red was needed & welcomed.  45 minutes flew by! today i will sit, light, & finish.  given my ADD i find that multiple days are needed to truly cast free the energy i wish to spread.  the feast day of st. nicholas is 5 december, but, as i'm still in america, solstice eve feels as good, if not better, to address Him.  Dame Fortuna didn't mind.  i have started baking cookies for yuletide yesterday.  i'm not one to start holiday baking for the home until solstice time.  this is the time of year i begin to turn in to the hearth.  from all souls day until solstice the holidays turn out, now it's time for the home to prepare for the year to come.  i am so looking forward to my 50th year, making changes & dreams come fly true.  i hope that all who read this find that their yule is bright with flame & warm with joy. :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

what's going on in....

borrowing an idea from  earthenwitch (who borrowed it from suburban yogini), here is the hopeful list of whats-happening for december:  eldest grandchilds' 5th birthday party, baptism for two youngest grandchildren, sewing dress for littlest grandchild for said baptism, making 3 cross-stitch ornaments, one felt stocking, vanilla fudge (new recipe), baking cookies: santas'whiskers, molasses or french lace, & lebuchen (new recipe) for cut-outs.  also, buying an inexpensive ikea desk to facilitate deutsch lessons (self-taught), getting exercise routine more routine (oo--add meditation routine, to boot), finish knitting scarf, figure out how to post photos without daughters' constant assistance, review gordons' posts (there is so much to ponder & put-into-use), & explore blogger so i have a better understanding of what & how to post.  that's not much, is it? 

Friday, November 26, 2010


one of the blogs i follow wanted to know what favorite traditions readers had.  this got me to reflect that, while thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, i don't have a lot of must-have traditions associated with the day.  i have a very small family (one daughter, soninlaw, 3 grandchildren), i don't have the wherewithal (or motivation) to travel distances to visit family (parents, 2 sisters, niece, her 4 children), no necessary food dishes, no urge to watch sports or parades....

i enjoy turkey & the trimmings, enjoy baking, but feel no sadness if i don't fix a huge dinner.  my daughter went to her mother-in-laws (no room in the car for me) while i stayed home, relaxed, putzed around.  she brought me home a plate of goodies & that was all i needed.  as it turns out, while i love the idea of a holiday based on giving thanks, serving an overabundance of food seems like such a waste!  i do *not* like the scene where people are flopped around, semi-comatose from over-eating, while a table still groans with food.  if a person has that much money they can spend a months' worth of grocery money on one meal, maybe they should consider donating a healthy half of the amount to the local soup kitchen, where people will really appreciate the bounty!  the scene where people sit around a t.v. set cheering on a football game is beyond me. if you have family & friends around to enjoy the day with, shouldn't you spend the day with them---*not* the t.v.?

rapidly becoming part of an american thanksgiving tradition is 'black friday'.  yes, i participated. i went to one store (jo-ann fabric & crafts). i did not fuss or fight.  i compared prices in the flyers with my daughter, confirmed that most aren't that big of a savings, & decided that only one store merited a visit.  i bought things to complete projects with, & a table-top ott-lamp.  for gift-giving, i bought nary a thing.  that's already been taken care of.                                                                                                                                                  


a bit of an uneasy dream, this.  it was last  night (in between coughing spells...damn weather changes) & i only recall a brief few seconds.  the background was ill defined. i was sitting in a chair, facing a woman, around my age, caucasian, dark-haired, behind a desk.  we were talking about what i don't remember, but i do recall that she was a customer service representative, & she wasn't pleased.  not sure if she was unhappy about what i said or what i was doing.  the uneasy feeling i have, is that this had something to do with life-in-general.  even though she was the c.s. rep., i am left with the impression that she was the one lecturing me.  really wish i could remember why.....

Friday, November 12, 2010


this happened this morning: was sitting in a pub-like setting (background was indistinct, but there were others in the background, it was enclosed, lit brightly, & had a congenial feel) on pew seating. a female friend (never distinct) & i were setting together, a bench table, & then a male seated opposite on another pew/bench.  the male was defined, & was someone i knew of well, as did many others (i knew his name, was surprised to see him, & thrilled, but as i was woken early in the a.m., my memory of his name is gone).  his conversation was very earnest & sincere. he needed to see my areola, it was most urgent, as this would tell him how to fit the ______(memory blanks out here, it was a specific article, that i thought ludicrous as it didn't seem to matter the size of my areola to be fitted for this specific item).  i imagined lifting my shirt, wondering how he could tell the size accurately through a lacy bra cup). laughing with my friend, i decided i would do as he asked, just for a lark, even though i thought he must be joking. when i turned back to him, ready to lift my shirt, his face was turned away, someone else had caught his attention, & i was momentarily taken aback--thought i had missed this opportunity....then i woke up.  jaw is a little stiff with night-tension this a.m.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


       for the first time in *decades* i heard an eldritch noise. this time i made note of what i was thinking on.  today, while exercising, i was contemplating relating threads of thought.  i need to rearrange my day-workings to accomplish more, room needs cleaning, Frigga vs. Hulda.  are they related? same? Frigg is norse, Hulda/Holle is german.  i hesitate to commit to Dame Holle as she intimidates me, given my lack of organization & housekeeping skills.  it occurs to me that i react the same to the study of tarot.  Dame Holle & tarot calls me to me, but they both require work. tarot due to learning disabilities, Dame Holle better organization on a consistent basis.  is this an american thing? this turning away from paths which require work?  how shameful!
     in addition, this morning i was looking through a fb friends' album she posted on a walk through the woods. the photos which resonated with me the most were the ones which featured water--whether a still puddle or a creek. not oceans but smaller bodies of water. Dame Holle & the well is what occurred to me. 
     then is when i heard the eldritch noise.  it came from my bedroom & sounded like a large metal pot, metal kitchen tools klanging together & falling.  two of the three cats in my bedroom leaped to the top of the stairs.  it's time to pay more attention to Dame Holle, & tarot.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

newbie blues

aahh! cannot figure out how to change template.  & loud toddlers are not helping matters any.....right now i'm just checking to see if this will actually post.  everything else will have to wait until after supper & applesauce cake.